A rather chubby fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a "guaranteed" weight loss program. "Guaranteed like heck," he thinks to himself. "But let's see what they think they can do." He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her neck. The sign has the weight loss company's logo and reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through, he thinks to himself with a nod, "I like the way this company does business." For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself, and sure enough, he has lost 10 pounds.

Deciding that he likes his somewhat slender physique, not to mention the method of "treatment", he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 pound weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their "workout" schedule might be like this time.

As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22-year-old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reeboks and a sign around her neck. She is simply stunning -- the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. The sign also has the weight loss company's logo and reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does it is worth every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and has lost another 20 pounds. "I love this company," he thinks to himself. "I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun!"

Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the company's 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. "Are you sure, sir?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he says, "I love your program. I haven't felt this good in years!"

The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200-pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. The sign has the weight loss company's logo and reads, "If I can catch you, I can have you."