Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns From: has0jrr@cabell.vcu.edu (John R. Robey) Subject: More Stuff You Never See on Star Trek Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 19:20:00 PDT URL: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/91q3/moretrek.html

Some other things that never happen on Star Trek...

A redshirt sneaks down a deserted corridor, turns a corner, and suddenly has a surprise birthday party.

A redshirt manages to avoid the thrown knife, phaser shot, arrow, or whatever.

McCoy says, "On second thought, maybe I'm a carpenter and NOT a doctor after all."

The deflector shields hold through the duration of the battle.

Kirk meets a woman whom he's known for years but never had sex with.

Sulu and Chekov get to do something interesting.

Kirk says, "Uhura, I'm frightened."

Kirk gets court-martialed for violating the Prime Directive.

A Klingon says to a companion, "Hey, I like you."

Harry Mudd manages to turn a healthy profit selling something legal.

An android race turns out to be completely friendly and not threatening or menacing in any way.

Some patient of McCoy's who's NOT a central character lives.

Riker manages to avoid seeming like a William Shatner clone.

The crew of the original Enterprise disperse, Sulu gets his own ship, and nobody suffers major emotional trauma.

A major character dies and isn't resurrected.

The mysterious giant threatening object is on a direct course for some world other than Earth.

Somebody says, "You know, the Enterprise-D looks really stupid! What is it, a Close Encounters reject?"

Artificial intelligence and android technology make human exploration of the galaxy obsolete.

McCoy says, "He'll live, Jim."

[Ed: My own additions]

Somebody vacations on a planet other than Raisa.

A major character has a serious character flaw.

A VIP visitor to the Enterprise is not a relative, lover, or close friend of a major character.