Ways to Say Someone is Stupid

  1. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
  2. A room temperature IQ.
  3. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
  4. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
  5. A prime candidate for natural (de)selection.
  6. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
  7. Dumber than a box of hair.
  8. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
  9. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
  10. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
  11. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
  12. As smart as bait.
  13. Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
  14. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
  15. He's so dense, light bends around him.
  16. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
  17. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
  18. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
  19. If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
  20. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
  21. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
  22. Forgot to pay her brain bill.
  23. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
  24. He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  25. Fell out of the family tree.
  26. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
  27. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
  28. Takes him 1½ hours to watch 60 minutes.
  29. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
  30. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
  31. A photographic memory with the lens cap glued on.
  32. A few beers short of a six-pack.
  33. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it altogether.
  34. Surfing in Nebraska.
  35. Bright as Alaska in December.
  36. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
  37. A few clowns short of a circus.
  38. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
  39. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
  40. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
  41. Chimney's clogged.
  42. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
  43. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
  44. Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
  45. Her sewing machine's out of thread.
  46. His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
  47. No grain in the silo.
  48. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
  49. Receiver is off the hook.
  50. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
  51. Several nuts short of a full pouch.
  52. Skylight leaks a little.
  53. Slinky's kinked.
  54. Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.
  55. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
  56. One taco short of a combination plate.
  57. A few feathers short of a whole duck.
  58. All foam, no beer.
  59. The cheese slid off her cracker.
  60. One neuron short of a synapse.