Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns Subject: "Shit Happens" in various religions From: stuart@orac.hq.ileaf.com (Stuart Freedman x1708) Date: Wed, 18 Jun 97 7:20:03 EDT URL: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/90q2/moresh.html
First set from: pszila@u.washington.edu (Peter Szilard) and kamens@neon.stanford.edu (Samuel N. Kamens)
Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucious says, "Shit happens".
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Protestantism: If shit happens, it happens to someone else.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to US?
Islam: If shit happens, kill the person(s) responsible.
More-From: sunne!East!bruces (Bruce Sesnovich - Sun BOS Information Architecture)
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
Jehovah's Witnesses: No shit happens until Armaggedon.
Islam: When shit happens, kill Salman Rushdie.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Reform Judaism: Got any Kaopectate?
Christian Science: When shit doesn't happen, don't call a doctor -- pray.
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns From: poy@fiuggi.irvine.dg.com (David Poyourow) Subject: Scholarly Shit Happens Date: Tue, 17 Jun 97 7:20:03 EDT URL: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/90q3/moreacc.html
[Ed: I swore no more of these, but this one is by an expert, it claims.]
I sent the "Shit Happens in Various Religions" to my friend John Stark, who happens to have a PhD in Religious Studies. A week later he sent me his revised version, which is pretty serious, but also pretty funny.
Taoism: Shit Happens, so flow with it.
Confucianism: Confucius says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen properly.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really happening to anyone.
Hinduism: This shit happening is you.
Protestantism: If shit happens, praise the Lord for it!
Judaism: Why does shit always happen just before closing the deal?
Islam: Shit happening is Allah's Will.
Existentialism: Shit happening is absurd!
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?