A panda sauntered into the saloon, sat down at the bar and told the bartender "Give me a sandwich and a beer."

Now, the bartender had seen a lot of strange characters out west, and knew it was important to keep his cool, so he just replied, "Sure enough, stranger." and slapped a ham sandwich and a cold, frosty one in front of the bear.

The panda, having obviously been on the trail for some time, gulped down the sandwich and washed it down with the beer. He then deftly pulled his six-shooter, drew a bead on the piano player, and plugged him squarely between the eyes. The bartender was dumbfounded as he watched the bear return his gun to his holster and walk out the front door.

"Hey, you! What the hell is going on here?" shouted the bartender as he ran out after the bear. The panda stopped and turned slowly in his tracks. "Well, what did you expect?" he said.

"Well, I sure didn't expect you to shoot the piano player. Good help is hard to find. Besides, you still owe me for lunch."

"I'm a PANDA. Look it up." replied the bear before continuing on his way.

The bartender was too upset and nervous to rile such an unpredictable sort, so he picked up his unabridged dictionary from the shelf and flipped through it for the entry for "panda."

"Damn." he muttered, as he read the entry.

He realized there was not a thing he could do. There it was, in black and white, written by an authority no less than Noah Webster, himself: "pan-da n. A large bear-like animal of the mountains of China and Tibet, with distinctive white and black markings. Eats shoots and leaves."