Clues That You Might Be a Jeeper

  1. A new dent in the sheet metal actually fixed another dent, or it just added some character.
  2. You know at least three 800 numbers to aftermarket off-road businesses by heart.
  3. You are on a first name basis with the guys at every local auto parts store in town.
  4. You want to take things apart and rebuild them, even if they are not broken.
  5. You have a monetary equivalent of a Mercedes sedan invested into your Jeep, but it still looks like crap.
  6. You consider starting a vehicle five times in any given minute routine.
  7. You own a vehicle which now weighs 1000 lbs. more than when it came off the showroom floor.
  8. You look for Jeeps in everything, and try to figure out the year and model.
  9. You are the type of person who goes crazy if you sit in a highway traffic jam more than five minutes, yet you can spend six hours driving one and a half miles and consider it to be a form of relaxation.
  10. You'll stop and look at any old rust heap, thinking, "Parts vehicle."
  11. The weatherman says, "Stay in; it's dangerous," and you think, "Time to go wheeling!"
  12. You are happy that you can't use first gear on the street.
  13. A military convoy passes by and you only look at the axles, tires, and antennas.
  14. You have enough straps, chains, rope, etc. in your Jeep to keep the Queen Mary docked during a hurricane.
  15. You understand that "Jeep" is a way of life, not just for transportation.
  16. You use a hose to clean your vehicle on the outside and on the inside.
  17. A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you get out and bitch-slap the driver.
  18. You have a high water mark in the inside of your Jeep.
  19. You use the ice scraper on the inside of the windshield.
  20. The AAA guy breaks down, and you stop and fix his problem and get back on the road.
  21. You'll drive two days at 600 miles per day so you can spend two more days driving three miles per day.
  22. You have more pictures of your Jeep than of your kids.
  23. You spend more time deciding which $3.00 bushing to use than you do on personal hygiene.
  24. You are sitting here reading this while your spouse is waiting for you in bed.