Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at 7:00, I get up and I try to urinate. All day long, I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine, but nothing helps."

The second old man says, "You think you have problems! I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00, I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff, but nothing helps."

Finally, the third old man speaks up, "Fellas, I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp, I urinate. Every morning at 8:00, I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp, I wake up."