Two boys in Iowa are playing football when one of the boys is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A Des Moines Register reporter hears about the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Hawkeye Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Hawkeye fan," the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we are in Iowa, I just assumed you were," says the reporter and he starts again. "Iowa State Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he jots in his notebook.

"I'm not a Iowa State fan, either," the boy responds.

"I assumed everyone in the state of Iowa was either for the Hawkeyes or for Iowa State. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.

"I'm a Nebraska Cornhusker fan." the boy says.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet."