Words that could be confusing and embarrassing in the UK & US
At long last, here is the complete list of anglo-american confusions. The
definitions have been cross referenced with the most recent edition of the
Oxford Dictionary, so if you don't agree with some of my definitions take up
the argument with them (unless I say otherwise in the text.) I have made a few
alterations, additions and removals too...
Thanks to the many people who have helped me compile this list, including:
Paul R. Montague, Jonathon Watkins, Darran Potter, Darlene Ollom & her
friend Liz, John Lovie, Gail thingy in alt.fan.british-accent, Kevin Walsh,
Suzi Howe, D Loomis, Kate Lingley, Martin Mazik, Ron Leech, Richard Smith.
If I have forgotten anyone, sorry!
The list is also available at my home page:
http://www.dur.ac.uk/~dgl3djb/~ukus.html [dead url]
If you have any further suggestions please mail me at:
d.j.barton@durham.ac.uk [likely dead address]
Who knows? There may be a second volume... (oh no!)
deej
- Buns. You know what these are. You're probably sitting on them now. Over
here buns are either bread or cake rolls. Asking for a couple of sticky buns
in a bakery here will mean Mr Crusty the baker will give you two cake buns with
icing (frosting) on the top. If I went into a deli in Manhattan and asked for
a couple of sticky buns I'd probably get arrested...
- Fag. A goody but an oldie. Over here a 'fag' is a cigarette. So in the
song 'It's a long way to Tipperary' the line 'As long as you have a Lucifer to
light your fag' is not a fundementalist Christian's statement that all
homosexuals will burn for eternity in hell, but saying that 'if you always have
a match to light your cigarette...'
- Faggots. Meat balls made from offal (chopped liver) in gravy. Also a
small bundle of logs suitable to burn on a fire.
- Pants. You call pants what we call trousers; pants are the things that go
underneath.
- Rubber. In this country a pencil eraser. Don't be shocked if the mild
mannered new Englishman in your office asks for a pencil with a rubber on the
end. Especially when he says that he enjoys chewing it when he is
thinking.
- Shit. To us, bodily waste. To you, practically everything as far as I
could figure, good or bad (and you certainly don't want us to touch
yours...)
- Fanny. To us the front bottom; to you the back one. In Britain, the fanny
pack is known as a bum bag for obvious reasons...
- Muffler. To us what you call a muffler is called a silencer. In the UK a
muffler is a long scarf a la Dickensian Novels. A muffler was also a
derogatory name for a certain part of the female anatomy at my school, though
this was probably unique to us. Try explaining THAT to a upstanding American
when you are standing at the petrol (gas) station in fits of laughter...
- Pavement. Sidewalk to you. I couldn't think of anything smutty to go with
this.
- Pissed. To you it's quite legal to be pissed in a car in a traffic jam.
In fact, in large cities sometimes you cannot help it. For us, it means that
you have been over doing it 'down the boozer' (pub) and a kindly policeman will
shortly flag you down and arrest you.
- Shag. To you a dance. To us sexual congress. In otherwords you may have
to summon up the courage to have a shag with someone, before you might have a
shag with them later on. Also a sea bird similar to a cormorant and a type of
rough tobacco.
- Fancy. To be sexually attracted to or to desire. Also a tea cake.
- Ass. To us a quadraped of the horse family or a stupid person. The word
you guys are looking for in English english is 'arse'.
- Sneakers. We call these 'trainers' for some reason.
- Waistcoat. You call them vests.
- Football. A classic example of our culture gap. To us football is what
you call soccer. To you football is what we call pointless. You probably
think the same way about cricket...
- Baseball. In England we play a game called 'Rounders' which has identical
rules bar the bat being a short baton designed to be used with only one hand.
It's only played in schools. In the US, it's a PROPER game...
- Some food differences
| english |
american |
| courgette |
zucchini |
| mars bar |
milky way |
| milky way |
three musketeers |
| opal fruits |
starburst |
| chips |
french fries |
| crisps |
chips |
- 'Knock you up'. In our country, to wake someone up in the morning so they
won't be late. Slightly different meaning for our American Cousins...
- Pastie. A pastie is a meat and potato pastry that originates from
Cornwall, UK. In the guidebook I had for Michigan, it mentioned that some
cornish tin miners had come over and brought over the recipe with them when
they settled the Upper Peninsula. Even so, I had to taken aside and carefully
told what an American pastie was so I wouldn't embarrass parents in front of
children at the summer camp I was working at when I was talking about my liking
for Cornish Pasties...
- Knackered. I'm not sure if you have this word in the US. When I said I
was knackered I got puzzled looks. It means you are tired. It comes from the
fact that horses are often tired when they have testes removed (their knackers)
when they are castrated. (Sorry! I guess you didn't want to know
that...)
- Fag. (Oh no not again!) When at a public (i.e. private - confused you
will be) school in the UK, you may have to 'fag' for an older boy. This
usually involves shining shoes, cleaning up and performing other favours for
this older lad. In return for fagging, the older boy looks after your
interests and makes sure that you fit into the school and promote the school
spirit (bon vivre, not necessarily the alcoholic kind). This may also be a fag
(i.e. a tiresome thing).
- Trunk. In the US what we in the UK call the boot of a car. In the UK, the
trunk is the front end of an elephant. Can be embarrassing if you happen to be
a pachyderm working as a taxi driver in NY. (Also a large metal and wooden box
much beloved of Edwardian travellers).
- Spunk. In the US it is perfectly acceptable for a boss to ask whether you
are feeling full of spunk of a morning (i.e. full of get up and go.) This
situation in the UK may only arise when a director is quizzing a male actor in
the adult entertainment business.
- Woody. In the UK, an acceptable description of a wine that has taken on
the flavour of the barrels it has matured in. In the US *never* go a wine
tasting and claim that this wonderful Californian Chardonnay has an excellent
'woody' flavour, unless you are the female co-star of the aforementioned male
actor and you are in the process of filming an 'arty' movie.
- Hood. To our American cousins, the bit of a car that the engine sits under
or place where you might live if you are a rapper. To us Brits, the part of a
coat that is designed to cover your head when it rains. What you call the
'hood' we call the 'bonnet' on a car.
- Gas. To the citizens of the United Kingdom, an instrument of warfare, the
stuff that you use to cook your dinner on or a state of matter that is neither
liquid nor solid. To you guys, what we call petrol and the gaseous by product
of bottom burps (wind).
- Pecker. To keep one's pecker up is a state of mind in the UK, an athletic
feat in the US and a way of life for the common or garden woodpecker.
- Toilets. Although we have a lot of colourful euphenisms for the lavatory
experience in the UK (e.g. spend a penny, watering the daisies) we lack the
prissiness of our American chums. To us a toilet is a bog, a kharzi, a
shithouse (or alternatively an outhouse in more polite company), a gents/ladies
but mostly a toilet. It is perfectly acceptable to be in the Ritz and request
to use the toilet. However, you guys seem ashamed of the t-word. Hence you go
to the John (where no-one called John is there) and the bathroom (where there
is no bath). ...And a word of warning for English chaps in the US - never
admit to eating baked beans out of the can.
- Beer. What you call beer, we call lager. What we call beer, you call
disgusting. This might be mutual.
- Hard. In the UK, you might see an unshaven tattooed uncouth man with big
muscles in a pub. If you accidentally spill his beer, he might get upset and
request you to join him outside. He might say `Come on then if you think
you're hard enough!' Or even 'I'm hard, me, so you better watch your step,
mate.' He is not casting aspersions on your sexual persuasion, nor does he
have an erection. He is merely stating the fact that unless you buy him
another pint of lager in the very immediate future he might beat seven shades
of shit out of you. In the US, our friend the male actor would probably say
'I'm hard' while sharing a bottle of woody flavoured chardonnay with his
co-star...
- Flummoxed? Our US chums will be if you use this word. It means to be
confused. The typical reaction of the average Brit upon arriving in the US.
Then again you might be 'hit for six' (i.e. upset to the point of falling
over) by it all. Which just isn't cricket, eh chaps?
- Roundabout. Imagine you are travelling in the UK along the M3 into
Basingstoke (why I can't imagine - it's a God forsaken place.) You have
already worked out that a motorway is the same as a freeway and you are feeling
pretty pleased with yourself. In front of you is the biggest rotary you have
ever seen. In the UK, we call them roundabouts. To instill a morbid fear of
these things in our children we force them to play on minature versions of them
in playgrounds (wooden disk that turns around with bars to hold onto) and make
them watch endless re-runs of the Magic Roundabout. This program was
originally a french satire on politics in the late 1960s though it looks just
like a animated kiddies show made by someone on SERIOUS acid. Sugar cube
eating dogs indeed.
- Cookies. You eat these with milk and with great self control you only eat
two at a time (you don't? naughty!). We call them biscuits. You call
biscuits those dry crackery things that might go in soup (or at least in the
part of the US I went to).
- Stuffed. To be full up after eating too many cookies. Also 'Get Stuffed'
a cookery program for insomniac students and people on a low income, where you
are told how to make fancy versions of beans on toast using everyday
ingredients like baked beans, bread, butter and curry powder. The recipies are
invariably called things like 'Currybeanytoasty-yum-yum-a-go-go'. As well,
'get stuffed' is something you say to someone who isn't your best mate.
- Randy. In the US a perfectly reasonable first name. Pity then, the
multitude of poor Americans given this unfortunate appellation when they come
over to old Blighty. Wherever they go, grimy street urchins snigger, little
old ladies try desperately to stifle guffaws and ordinarily quite sensible
members of society burst out in laughter. And why? In the UK, saying 'Hi, I'm
Randy!' is akin to saying to our American cousins 'Hello friend, I'm feeling
horny.' However, save your pity for poor soul Randy Highman who introduced
himself to my supervisor at a conference not so long ago...
- Aluminium. Over here we say 'al-u-min-i-um'. You say 'aloom-i-num'.
Neither nation can spell the word.... (Aluminiumiumium?)
- Kip. In the UK to have a sleep or a nap. A kip house is apparently a
brothel. Being young and innocent I was unaware of this...
- English Swear Words. Our chums across the Atlantic should be warned about
the following. If some English bloke comes up to you and uses one or more of
them when addressing you, please be careful. He may not be friendly...
- Wanker. A charming little word that implies that the addresser
is accusing the addressee of onanism. Usually accompanied by the coital f-word
and the oedipal compound-noun. The addresser may also raise his right hand and
portray a chillingly accurate portrayal of the act in question...
- Bollocks. The round male dangly bits. Also, saying 'the dog's
bollocks' is akin to stating 'this is the shit' in the US. Not to be confused
in agricultural circles with 'bullocks' which are bull shaped and go
'moo!'.
- Nancy boy. A male who may express either a sexual preference
for his own gender or acts in a less than masculine way.
- Spanner. Not only a component of every good mechanic's toolbox
(see below) but also someone not overly blessed with intelligence or savoir
faire. A geek, nerd, dork or a dweeb in other words.
- Tosser. See 'wanker' and then use your imagination... Also
tosspot.
- Slag. A woman of uncertain worth and reliability. Also used
in English 1970s police shows (e.g. The Sweeney) when describing a notorious
criminal. (e.g. Dosser Jenkins? That slaaaaag!). Originally used to
describe a by-product of the (now sadly nearly defunct) coal mining
industry.
- Wanger. Many a Saturday night I have heard this word being
shouted by rival groups of young men at each other. The dulcit cries of 'Oi
Wanger!!' have disturbed the peace of many a town centre. It is a word used
to either describe a penis or an attempt by the alcoholically challenged to say
'wanker'.
- Plonker. Another willy euphenism. Immortalised in the TV
program 'Only Fools and Horses', starring David Jason & Nicholas Lyndhurst
- 'You plonker Rodney!'.
- Naff off. Go away. As used by the Princess Royal, Princess
Anne. For a while she was known as the 'Naff Off Princess' in the tabloid
press.
- Wazzock - a fool or idiot.
Strange fact: British males often use wanker, bastard, tosser, plonker etc
as terms of endearment.
- Cars. In the UK, only the luxury car market have automatic transmission -
in other words the Jaguars, Rolls Royces and Bentleys of the world. Most cars
have manual transmission. This is because our roads aren't straight. As a
consequence all learner drivers have to learn how to drive using a car with
manual gears. I was told that in the States this is referred to as 'learning
how to drive stick.' In the UK, asking your driving instructor whether he
could teach you how to drive stick may cause potential embarrassment...
- Blowjob. Blowjob, although a word in common use now in both our countries
was referred to as 'Plating' before the GIs came over during WWII. Hence the
calling card of Cynthia Plaster-Caster, the woman who made plaster casts of the
erect willies of Jimi Hendrix and the Dave Clark Five, amongst others, had
'Your plater or mine?' on her calling cards...
- Jelly & Jam. In the UK, jelly is either the stuff you US-types call
jello or a seedless preserve made from fruit, sugar and pectin. To confuse
things further, fruit preserves are generically called jam over here too.
Hence, if you were in an English restaurant enjoying a piece of bread with
peanut butter and fruit preserve on it you would be eating 'a peanut butter and
jam sandwich.' BTW, I used to enjoy peanut and jelly sandwiches when I was
little in the UK sense of the word... Sloppy, but very nice.
- Stones. To you big rock things that geologists play with. To us also a
unit of weight. 1 stone is equal to 14 pounds. Also, English pints show
remarkable value for money compared to their US conterparts - 567ml compared to
430ml. Good thing to know when ordering beer.
- Cheeky. In the UK to say someone is 'cheeky' is to imply that they are
awnry or suggestively rude. Much beloved of the 'Carry On' Movies which
starred Barbara Winsor and Sid James. Typical dialogue...
*SJ:* You don't get many of those to the pound!
(Referring to BW's ample cleavage)
*BW:* Ooohhh! Cheeky!
*SJ:* Phoooarrr! I wouldn't kick her out of bed for
eating crackers!
*BW:* Ooohhh! You are awful! (for a bit of
variety...)
*SJ:* Loveliest pair of ...eyes I ever saw!
*BW:* Ooohhh! Cheeky!
and so on ad nauseum...
- Khaki. In the UK a light beige colour. In US khaki can also be green when
referring to army fatigues which are generically known as 'khaki'.
- Knickers. A similar problem to 'pants' (cv). In the US they are
knee-length trousers like what the Brits call 'breeches'. In the UK, they are
the things that go underneath. Typically British men wear pants under their
trousers and women wear knickers, unless of course, you are a Tory
(Conservative) MP and then anything goes... Also NORWICH was an acronym used
by service personel during WWII for '(k)Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home'.
To be on the safe side when visiting the doctors it's best to keep your
pants/knickers on...
- Wellies. In the UK a type of waterproof rubberised boot named after that
Great Englishman, the Duke Of Wellington. You guys in the US would call them
'gumboots' or 'galoshes'. In the UK wellies are much beloved of Tory MPs with
large country estates and farmer-types with sheep, particularly the 'Hunter'
welly with the handy straps on the side.
- Warm clothing. In the UK we wear warm woolly upper garments during the
winter which we call 'jumpers'. You call them 'sweaters'. Boring but true.
Also a long woolly dress is called a 'jumper' in the US. I suppose both
nations have the joke: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sweater?
A woolly jumper. Groan. Somebody carbon date that joke please...
- Spanner. You see that long metal object in your tool kit that you use to
adjust bolts on your car? We call that a spanner, not a wrench.
- Slash. In the US a line denoting a separation on the written page or on a
computer, or even a rip or tear in a piece of material. In the UK also a
euphenism for a wee, a jimmy riddle or urination. Also the name of a rather
well known guitarist who was born in England and hence should have thought a
little harder before choosing his 'nom de rock'n'roooolll, man'.
- Liberal. In the US someone who has enlightened and progressive views on
abortion, welfare, health care, racial and sexual issues, and sympathsizes with
the needs of those less fortunate than themselves. Or at least that's what
they say. Republicans probably wouldn't agree with this statement... In the
UK, someone is neither left wing nor right wing but somewhere in between. In
both countries, 'liberal' can be used as an insult and a compliment. Although
most Americans liberals would probably balk at the idea, in the UK they might
be considered to be socialists. (Shock! Horror!)
- Snogging. You know that thing you do when you are with your loved one when
you tickle each others tonsils? In the UK that's called snogging. Much
beloved of kids at school discos inbetween swigging illicit bottles of vodka
and Special Brew beer and 'getting on down' to Take That (screaaaaammmmm!)
(popular beat combo in the UK much admired by girlies).
- Git. An undesirable and miserable person. Between 'sod' and 'bastard' on
the 'are you going to get your head kicked in?' scale.
- Jock. In the US, big guys who like sport, women and acting macho. In the
UK, a Scottish person who probably also likes sport, women and acting macho but
in a Glaswegian (i.e. from Glasgow) accent. Which is probably more scary
since a lot of people have difficultly understanding them...
- Lemonade. In the US, non-fizzy fruit drink possibly made from lemons that
we Brits call 'squash'. Our 'lemonade' is fizzy, akin to your pop or soda
(depending on what part of the US you are from.) I was most disappointed when
I found this out for the first time in a US cinema...
- Crossing the road. In the UK we love our cute fluffy and feathery friends.
So much in fact that we name our road crossings after them. We have pedestrian
walkways that have broad black & white stripes (like on the cover of 'Abbey
Road' by the Beatles) which we call 'Zebra Crossings'. We also have crossings
akin to yours with the 'walk/don't walk' signs on them which have a little red
man standing still and a little green man walking. These are illuminated when
you are supposed to stay where you are or walk respectively. For some
inexplicable reason this is called a 'pelican crossing'. As for the little
green man flashing...
- Hotels. In the UK the floors in a hotel are numbered ground floor, first
floor, second floor etc. In otherwords the first floor is the second floor,
the second is the third and so on and so on. In the US, you have a more
sensible numbering system. A good thing to note if you are a US
bell-boy(UK)/bell-hop(US) looking for Take That's (screaaaaammmmm!) suite on
the eighth floor in a UK hotel. (BTW Just follow the detritus of fluffy toys
and soggy knickers (cv)...)
- Waste disposal. In the UK our household waste is called 'rubbish' and is
taken away by the dustmen or bin men in their dustcart. In the US you have two
types of household waste - garbage and trash. Also, you see that piece of
street furniture which you are supposed to put the packaging from your lunch?
We call them bins; you call then trash cans. I was sooo confused about
this.
- Merchant Banker. On both sides of the Atlantic an honourable and decent
profession. In the UK, cockney rhyming slang for an onanist (see 'wanker').
Possibly apt.
- Buying a drink. Those establishments where you buy alcohol late at night
where you are not allowed to drink it on the premises are called Off Licences
(or Offies) in the UK and Liquor Stores in the US. I'm over 21 and was
repeatedly carded(US)/id'ed(UK) when I tried to buy beer (this was before I
*tried* American beer). I thought that a British Passport was good enough ID
for a liquor store since it got me in the country, but no, I needed an in-state
driver's licence. Hellooo? I'm a tourist with a British Passport and an
English accent who is wearing a t-shirt with UK tour dates on the back. Don't
you think I *might* be the genuine article? (Sorry. The incident still annoys
me.)
- Please and sorry. In the UK, no sentence is complete with either or even
both of these words. In the US, the former is said begrudgedly and 'What's the
name of your lawyer?' is said instead of the latter.
- English. We speak english in the UK. So do you in the US. But yet we
don't speak the same language...
- Women's things. Pads = US. Towels = UK. Tampons = everywhere. Do you
have the ones with wings too? Do you have a patronising Clare Rayner-type who
does the advert?
- Crusty. In the US the state of a bread roll when it is freshly baked and
smelling yummy. In the UK, as well as this, a person of possibly no real fixed
abode who engages in an alternative lifestyle involving travelling around the
country, wearing 'alternative' clothes (ex-army or hippie gear), having a
pragmatic attitude to drugs and has possibly dubious personal hygiene. They
would rather be called 'Travellers' and I admire them for their stance against
'straight' society. (oooh a bit of politics there...)
- Bum. In the UK, the definition of 'buns' (cv) describes more than
adequately the biggest muscle in the body. In the US, a person whom we would
call a tramp. Also the act of being a bum. I have been reliably informed that
Take That (screaaaaammmmm!) have cute bums but only one (the scruffy git (cv)
with the dreadlocks) actually looks like one...
- North/South divide. Ask anyone from the north of England where the North
ends and the South begins, they might say 'Worksop' is the dividing line. Ask
anyone from the south and they might say 'north of Oxfordshire' or even 'north
of London'. These definitions differ by well over 100 hundred miles! In the
north the people have cloth caps, whippets (racing dogs, not aerosol cans of
whipped cream!), keep pigeons, speak in a funny way and drink bitter in grim
working mens clubs. In the south, the people are either country yokels who
speak in a funny way, or people with loads of money who speak like the Queen or
brash Cockneys who speak in funny way while engaged in dealings of a dubious
nature and drinking lager. That is, if you believe the stereotypes as
portrayed in the media. It is all utter bollocks (cv).
- Pardon. As I said before, being sorry is all part of being English. We
apologise for things that aren't our fault again and again and again. I am
convinced that the first word that an English baby learns to say after 'Mama'
and 'Dada' is 'sorry'. Anyway, 'pardon me' is a polite way of excusing your
way through a crowd or excusing yourself or if your bodily functions betray you
in public. The US equivalent, 'excuse me' only seems to be used in a sarcastic
way, i.e. 'Well excuuuuuse me!' while exchanging lawyers' telephone
numbers.
- Lorry. A UK truck. A word used in the tongue twister 'Red Lorry Yellow
Lorry' by parents to torture their kids. Try it. You'll hate me for it.
- Irony. Along with sarcasm, the basis of English humour. Totally lost on
most of our American chums. Saying '...NOT!' is not sarcasm.
- Easy. When an English girl says 'I'm easy' she is not saying 'Please sleep
with me.' She is saying 'I don't mind what we do.' Then again in the presence
of Take That (screaaaaammmmm!), who knows?
- Bonk. In a similar vein, to bonk someone in the UK is to enjoy sexual
congress with them. It also means to hit someone, usually on the head. The
two might be related if you like that sort of thing...
- Rumpty. The latest word coined by the British Tabloid Press for fun stuff
in the dark. Obviously they got bored with bonking... Anyway, a typical sex
scandal headline in the Sun (infamous tabloid paper owned by Rupert Murdock)
would read 'Robbie-ex-from-Take-That (screaaaaammmmm!) caught in four in bed
rumpty with Divine Brown, OJ and some ugly Tory Minister who will shortly be
resigning'....
- Suspenders. In the UK those things that women hold their stocking up with.
You call them garters. Confusingly, when I was in Cub Scouts, the things with
the tags on them you used to hold your socks up were called garters too. These
were instruments of torture - ideal for pinging and causing yelps of pain
during prayer on church parade services. Some children are sooo cruel.
Anyway, what you call suspenders we call braces.
- Aubergine. Frankly foul purple vegetable used in moussaka. You call them
eggplants.
- Dinky. In the US something that is small or poorly made. In the UK
something small and cute. I'm not sure if you had Dinky Cars in the US, but
these toy cars are now worth a fortune over here. And I gave all mine away too
(sob!)...
- Table. Imagine you are in a boardroom. The chairperkin (note dubious PC
nomenclature) says 'I reckon we should table the motion about the McBigcorp
account'. If you were American you would think 'Gee, I guess we can forget
about that for a while' - i.e. the motion has been postponed. If you were
English, you would think 'Jolly good show old bean! I fancied (cv) talking
about that one!', i.e. the motion has been brought up for discussion. How do
people in trans-atlantic companies cope?
- Twat. In the US, calling someone a twat is unwise since you are accusing
them of resembling a part of the female anatomy. In the UK, a mild insult
meaning 'idiot' much beloved of school children who might get into trouble with
naughtier words.
- Swank. In both countries to be 'swanky' implies that you are showy and
vulgar, or to say that something is 'swanky' could also mean that it is posh or
expensive. Comic book characters (e.g. those in UK comics The Beano and
Whizzer & Chips) are often seen going into the 'Hotel de Swank' after
getting money for some good turn, where they promptly blow it all on a plate of
mashed potato with sausages sticking out of it. I have never seen such a
delicacy on offer in the hotels I have been in, much to my disappointment.
Anyway, I have also been reliably informed that 'Swank' is also the name of a
US DIY magazine populated by young women who have great difficulty keeping
their clothes on or their legs together. They also wear high heels in bed.
Weird. I have a theory about how the magazine got named. The editor was
wandering around Soho, London (the red light district) one day when he heard a
Londoner shout 'S' wank innit?' (It is a wank(cv) isn't it). Thinking, 'Aha -
I'm au fait with English slang: hence 'Swank' would be a great name for a porno
mag' he toddled off back to the US and created said magazine. Unfortunately,
in this context the Londoner was probably referring to his job being
pointless...
- Potty. In both countries 'potty' is that little plastic seat that kids are
forced to use when they need to expel bodily waste when they are too big for
nappies(UK) / diapers(US). Americans take the meaning of this word into adult
life unchanged. English chaps use 'potty' to describe someone who is a bit
silly, dolalley or, to be frank, mad. After watching the film 'The Madness of
King George', I can see how the two meanings might have a common
ancestry...
- Bloody. You guys might describe an item covered in blood as 'bloody'. So
might we. 'Bloody' is also a mild English swear word which is always used in
cheesy programs made by Americans about the UK. Hardly anyone over here uses
it anymore. Similarly, the word 'bleeding'. We use 'fuck' just as much as you
guys, the big difference being that we can use it on network television after
9pm in a non-gratutious way, whereas you can only shout 'fuck' in the privacy
of your own home. So there.
- Grass. You can walk on it and you could smoke it (if it wasn't illegal).
In the UK you can also do it as well. To grass on someone means to tell on
them, usually to an authority figure like a policeman or a teacher. Someone
who tells on a lot of people is known as a 'supergrass' - most often used when
describing IRA informers who do the dirty on their Republican chums. Also
'Supergrass' is the name of a pop combo who are rather more popular over here
than they are in the US. Whether they named themselves after this definition
or one more akin to why Green Day are called 'Green Day' is uncertain...
- Policemen. UK policemen are unarmed. As a consequence I feel safer over
here than I did in the US. Anyway, the following are used to describe
policemen: bobbies, peelers, filth, cops, pigs, the old Bill (or the Bill),
rozzers, coppers, a plod or perhaps 'bastards' if you are feeling lucky. I'm
not sure how many of those you guys might use. Imagine you are a tea leaf
(thief) and you spot a car in good nick (reasonable condition) so you decide to
nick (steal) it. Along comes PC (Police Constable) Plod, puts his hand on your
shoulder and says 'You're nicked mate!' even though he isn't your friend and
he probably isn't wielding a knife. This is your cue to say 'It's a fair cop!
You got me banged to rights and make no mistake. You'll find the rest of the
swag (illgotten gains) in the sack!' if you are stupid or 'I aint done nuffink
copper!' if you are aren't.
- Crime and punishment. If you had 'been a naughty boy' and taken to court,
you may find yourself confronted by a 'beak' (a magistrate), who might send you
down for some time 'at her Majesty's Pleasure'. You would go to gaol (or
jail), or 'nick' as it is sometimes confusingly called.
- Banger. Three meanings in the UK: a sausage, an old car well past it's
prime and a small firework that makes a loud noise. If you were repulsed by
the idea of eating a faggot (cv), the British banger would really make your
stomach turn since it makes even a Taco Bell meal look like it contains high
quality meat. The Tabloid press seem to think that the European Economic
Community (the UK is a rather reluctant member) wants to ban the British
Banger. WRONG! They just want to reduce the breadcrumb, eyes and goolies
(male genitals) content and put meat in instead...
- Conk. A nose. Also conkers is a game were small children thread
horsechest nuts to lengths of string and hit the nuts together. The first nut
to break is the loser. A conker that beats many conkers is known as a 'bully',
as in a 'bully-niner' is a conker that has beaten nine other conkers. It has
probably been soaked in vinegar, baked in an oven or scooped out and filled
with concrete. If such a conker hit you on the conk you would know all about
it.
- Soldiers. On both sides of the Atlantic, members of the military who run
around shooting things while wearing khaki (cv). Also in the UK, soldiers are
pieces of buttered toast or bread that you dip in your soft boiled egg at
breakfast. Yum!
- Half inch. To you, half an inch or 1.27cm. To us, to borrow without
asking first. The likely activity of a Tea Leaf (cv) in otherwords.
- Cock. There are four obvious meanings that are common to both the English
and the Americans. A willy (penis), a male bird, to ready a gun and to knock
or place something off centre. In England there is a fifth. If a person says
'Ello cock!' they are greeting you as a close personal friend. The first
meaning may also apply if you are a *very* close personal friend and the third
may apply if the first makes it's unwanted presence known in an unsuitable
situation...
- Squash. To you a vegetable. To us a fruit drink similar to US lemonade.
Also called 'cordial', though how friendly a bottle of orange squash can be is
open to debate.
- Mug. There are many meanings to this word, e.g. a vessel to contain your
'cuppa' (cup of tea). In the UK, a mug is a fool or an idiot and to mug up is
to learn. In the US a mug is a thug or a hoodlum (sortened version of mugger I
suppose). In otherwords, you better mug up on how not to be a mug before you
are mugged by a mug.
- Drug slang. In the UK we have some great rock festivals like Reading,
Phoenix and Glastonbury (yeah!). You guys have Lollapalooza (okay) and
Woodstock (wasn't the second one a dodo or what?). Anyway, we have some drug
slang which you might hear if you were into such things at these events (not
that I'm condoning them but...)
Vera Lynns (or Veras) - skins or tobacco papers (named after
a WWII singer.)
Mandies - Mandy Smiths (very young ex wife of ex Rolling
Stone Bill Wyman) or spliffs.
Billy Whizz - speed or amphetamine - named after a comic
character who could run very fast.
E - ecstacy or MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine). Much
hilarity ensues when a contestant on the UK quiz show 'Blockbusters' asks host
Bob Holness 'for an e'. Ho ho.
There are many others...
- Mean. In the UK to be mean implies you are frugal to the point of being
stingy. In the US you might be mean (i.e. aggressive) because of that English
guy's inability to get his wallet out and buy you a beer (cv).
- Autumn. My favourite time of year when the leaves turn orange, red and
yellow. You call it 'Fall'. I prefer Autumn.
- Candy. We call them sweets. Unless they are American confectionary, then
we call them candy too. I have met quite a few Americans girls called 'Candy'
but never ever an English one called 'Sweets'.
- Cutlery. The impliments you eat with. You guys also call them
flatware.
- Sucker. In both countries a fool or a silly person. Also a piece of candy
on the end of a stick that us Brits call a lollipop or a lolly. We also call
money 'lolly' too to make things just that little bit more confusing...
- Z. The twenty sixth letter of the alphabet. You call it 'Zee'; we call it
'Zed'. A whole generation in England has had to relearn the alphabet after
hearing the 'Alphabet song' on Sesame Street. Sadder still, the song doesn't
rhyme with the English 'Zed'. At least the 'Numbers song' works (1-2-3-4-5,
6-7-8-9-10, 11-12, do do-do do-do do-do do etc etc...)
- Tire. When visiting the garage make sure you know the difference between a
UK tire (band of metal placed around the rim of a wheel designed to strengthen
it) and a US tire (pneumatic effort called a 'tyre' in the UK). If you make a
mistake it could be a very long and bumpy ride home.
- 99. In the US purely the number before one hundred. In the UK a yummy
variety of ice cream consisting of a scoop of vanilla soft-scoop ice cream in
wafer cone with a chocolate flake stuck in it. The cone is specially designed
to allow the melting ice cream to flow all over your hand before you get to eat
it.
- Centennial. Dull but apt. You call the period lasting a hundred years a
centenary.
There you have it. One hundred definitions and quite a few extra along the
way. If anyone else has any more suggestions please drop me a line at:
d.j.barton@durham.ac.uk