Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: jhaungs@us.oracle.com (Jim Haungs) Subject: The Homosexual Agenda Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1999 19:30:01 PDT URL: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/99/Sep/agenda.html

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it.

Well, I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual.

It follows below:

6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 pm Brunch
2:00 pm
  1. Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
  2. Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
  3. Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
  4. Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
  5. Establish planetary chain of "homo breeding gulags" where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership,
  6. Bulldoze all houses of worship, and
  7. Secure total control of the Internet and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 pm Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 pm Cocktails
6:00 pm Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 pm Theater
11:00 pm Bed (du jour)?