From: Robert M Chittister <rc5x+@andrew.cmu.edu>
A shotgun shooting 12 pellets of 00 Buckshot weighing 4g leave the barrel at 1125 fps. Assuming the average infant will absorb 127.3 f/lbs before disintegrating, how many babies will the average blast cut through (rounding off to the nearest whole number)?
eight.
A 100 kg man is being swung by his entrails in a circle 16'in radius at the rate of 1600 radians/sec. Find the tension in the man's entrails (ignoring the effects of gravity).
65,024 Newtons.
A pagan priest attempts to vaporize a young virgin by placing her in a flaming pit. Assuming the woman, weighing 120 lbs, is completely composed of water, how much energy will he have to use to completely vaporize her?
130,000 BTU
An infant has a tensile strength of 400 psi and has a cross sectional area of 23.4 sq. inches. Assuming it is 23" long and has an elongation percentage of .0036%/120psi at roomtemperature, how long will the baby be before it is dismembered?
about 26.45 inches.
A 12 year old blind orphan girl is shot from a cannon at the speed of 1200 fps at a solid brick wall. Calculate the force of impact given that the brick wall is 3 feet away from the barrel.
if she weighs 50 lbs, and all of her sticks to the wall, 3.3 million Newtons.
A large plane weighing 12.7 M tons carrying 12 tons of nuns and orphans travelling at 724.46 kph and at an altitude of 40,000 meters suffers explosive decompression above the center of a 30km diameter population. Assuming that one passenger is sucked out every second, how many passengers will land within the population center?
about (give or take a torso or leg) 12.
A 1000 lb car is moving at 130 mph and two poodles whose combined weight is 82 lbs are thrown out the back at 3 mph. Calculate the velocity of the car.
140.91 happy mph.
Farmer Brown is selling apples for 12 cents a dozen in a room where a torch has a brightness of 120 candela is 12 ft from a 14.36 sq meter surface. Assuming a light bulb 17.3 cubits from the surface has a brightness of 129 candlepower and gives off heat of 1.27 BTU and the room is 423 degrees Kelvin; assuming the pressure in the room is 1100 millibar; assuming the lightbulb is rotating at 4 pi radians per half minute, with the power source of the bulb a battery giving off energy at a rate of 12000000 terrajoules per exasecond; assuming the coefficient of friction at the base of the rotating light bulb is 1.679 E9; assuming the room is being launched at 50 times escape velocity; assuming it collides with the moon in a perfectly elastic collision, when the room returns to the earth 6 days 4 hours 20 minutes 35 seconds and 12 nanoseconds later, how much does Farmer Brown sell one apple for?
still one cent, but all that's left is well-done applesauce