The Millennium Falcon has hydraulics, and gold plated landing gear. It also has huge, 500w subs mounted by the cannons.

The chess table is replaced by the craps table.

At the Cantina, Han Solo and Chewbacca are drinking 40's of Old-English 800.

Han Solo doesn't shoot Greedo under the table, he drops the sucka execution style.

C3-P0 is a completely soul-less, rhythmless English white guy.

Artoo is a short Hispanic man with Turret's syndrome (he's always wise-cracking at 3P0).

Princess Leia has hair extensions and bamboo earrings.

The Rebel Alliance is the Black Panthers.

The Emperor becomes The Man.

Light sabers are completely replaced by kung-fu fighting.

Lando is exactly the same, just carrying a 16oz can of Colt 45. Ohhhhhhhhh yeah.

The Force would be some pharmacological substance which can be grown in your backyard.

Obi Wan is a Dead-Head who goes around trying to give the Force away for free.

Blasters are replaced with 9's.

The Ewoks are the gangs from China Town, carrying switchblades.

Vader's a crack dealer (Dark Side of the Force).

Jabba's place is a disco. Jabba remains the same.

Boba-Fett is an Sicilian hitman named Guido ("And I want them alive. Nooooooo cement shoes!").

Han's known only as "One Bad Mutha".

Uncle Owen is the equivalent of the father on the Wayans Brothers. He doesn't want Luke to leave, because he needs him at the local convenience store.

The Jawas are replaced by the local fences. ("Say, my man, you want a watch?")

Sand People are replaced by drunken hillbilly rednecks ("They're easily startled, but they'll soon be back."). Banthas become monster trucks with gun racks, mud flaps, and 4000 watts of flood lights on the roll bars.

The Gammorean guard would be replaced by huge black guys named Tiny.

The stormtroopers (i.e., the cops) would be paid off with a bag of the Force. ("These aren't the droids you're looking for..." "Move along...")

Yoda's all shriveled, short, and green because he's been holding in the same hit for a looooong time. ("When 900 years you reach, look so good, you will not, hmmmmm?")

The best Force is found on Dagobah.

The entire soundtrack is redone by George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelic.

X-Wings are replaced by low-riders.

Bespin is a huge whippet manufacturing plant, busted by the Man.

Chewie is some huge Cuban (hence the accent) guy named Jesus. ("Cubans have been known to rip people's arms off when they lose.")

Donna Summer is singing at Jabba's Disco (Jabba remains the same).

Luke is the ultimate player Mac Daddy. He pimps his own sister to his best friend.

Luke's so bad, he's on the chronic; hence, he's wearing all black when he enters Jabba's place (Jabba remains the same).

Scene Changes