On the morning show at WBAM FM in Chicago, IL, they play a game for prizes, usually vacations and such, called "Mate Match." The DJs ring someone at work and ask if they are married or in a serious relationship. If yes, then this person is asked three very personal questions that vary from couple to couple, and then they are asked for their significant other's name and work phone number. If the significant other answers correctly, then they are winners. This particular day (12-9-98) it got interesting:

DJ: HEY! This is Edgar on WBAM. Do you know "Mate Match"?

Contestant: (laughing) Yes, I do.

DJ: What is your name? First only, please.

Contestant: Brian.

DJ: Are you married, or what, Brian?

Brian: Yes.

DJ: "Yes"? Does this mean your are married, or what? Brian?

Brian: (laughing nervously) Yes, I am married. FUNNNNNNY!

DJ: Thank you, Brian. OK, now, what is your wife's name? First only, please, Brian.

Brian: Sara.

DJ: Is Sara at work, Brian?

Brian: She is gonna kill me.

DJ: Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?

Brian: (laughing) Yes, she is.

DJ: All right, then, first question: When was the last time you had sex?

Brian: She is gonna kill me.

DJ: BRIAN! Stay with me here, man.

Brian: About 8 o'clock this morning.

DJ: Atta boy.

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) Well...

DJ: Number 2: How long did it last?

Brian: About ten minutes.

DJ: Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if there weren't a trip at stake.

Brian: Yeah, it would be really nice.

DJ: OK. Final question: Where was it that you had sex at 8 this morning?

Brian: (laughing hard) I... ummmmm...

DJ: This sounds good, Brian... Where was it?

Brian: Not that it was all that great, just that her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks, and she was taking a shower at the time.

DJ: Ooooooh, sneaky boy!

Brian: On the kitchen table.

DJ: "Not that great"? That is more adventurous than the last hundred times I have done it. Anyway, (to audience) I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number, and call her up. You listen to this.

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DJ: (to audience) Let's call Sara, shall we?

(touch tones ... *ringing*)

Clerk: Kinko's.

DJ: Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?

Clerk: This is she.

DJ: Sara, this is Edgar with WBAM. I have been speaking with Brian for a couple of hours now...

Sara: (laughing) A couple of hours?

DJ: Well, a while anyway. He is also on the line with us. Brian knows not to give away any answers or you lose, soooooooo... do you know the rules of "Mate Match"?

Sara: No.

DJ: Good.

Brian: (laughing)

Sara: (laughing) Brian, what the hell are you up to?

Brian: (laughing) Just answer his questions honestly, OK?

Sara: Oh, Brian...

DJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sara, I will now ask you three questions, and if you answer exactly what Brian has said, then the two of you are off to Orlando, Florida, at our expense. This does include tickets to Disney World, Sea World, and tickets to see the Orlando Magic play. Get it Sara? SARA! GET IT? Orlando Magic -- they are on strike. Sara... *helloooooo*, anyone home?!?!

Sara: (laughing hard) YES, yes.

Brian: (laughing)

DJ: All right, when did you have sex last, Sara?

Sara: Oh God, Brian... This morning before Brian went to work.

DJ: What time?

Sara: About 8, I think.

(sound effect) DING DING DING

DJ: Very good. Next question: How long did it last?

Sara: Twelve, fifteen minutes, maybe.

DJ: Hmmmmm...

Background voice in studio: That's close enough. I am sure she is trying not to harm his manhood.

DJ: Well, we will give you that one. Last question: Where did you do it?

Sara: OH MY GOD, BRIAN! You did not tell them, did you?!?!

Brian: Just tell him, honey.

DJ: What is bothering you so much, Sara?

Sara: Well... It's just... just that my mom is vacationing with us, and...

DJ: SHE SAW?!?!

Sara: BRIAN?!?!

Brian: NO, no I didn't.

DJ: Ease up there, sister. Just messin' with your head. Your answer?

Sara: Dear Lord... I cannot believe you told them this.

Brian: Come on, honey, it's for a trip to Florida.

DJ: Let's go, Sara; we ain't got all day. Where did you do it?

Sara: In the ass.

(long pause)

DJ: We will be right back.

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In case anybody is wondering, they got the trip!