From rec.humor Tue May 4 16:44:22 1993 From: jing@giane.cs.umass.edu (YUFENG JING) Subject: Re: Computer joke Date: 3 May 93 15:11:06
Here is a bunch of funny computer response from my collegues after I sent him a copy of the response for "make love" from UNIX. Enjoy them unix hacker!
% man: why did you get a divorce? man:: Too many arguments.
% make fire Make: Don't know how to make fire. Stop.
% why not? No match.
% gotta light? No match.
% ^How did the sex change^ operation go? Modifier failed.
% ^What is saccharine? Bad substitute.
% scan for <<"Arnold Schwarzenegger"^J^D "Arnold Schwarzenegger": << terminator not found
% ar x "my love life" ar: my love life does not exist
% who fire who: cannot open fire
% whatis love love: not found
[And more from various sources (or that I made up)... -dsb]
% make love Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
% got a light? No match.
% sleep with me Bad character
% make 'heads or tails of all this' Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.
% make sense Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.
% make mistake Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop.
% make bottle.open Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop.
% make light Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop.
% make telegram Make: Don't know how to make telegram. Stop.
% make \.\ it Make: Don't know how to make . it. Stop.
% \(- (-: Command not found.
% date me You are not superuser: date not set Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988
% If I had a ) for every dollar Clinton spent, what would I have? Too many )'s.
% * How would you describe Clinton *: Ambiguous.
% %Vice-President %Vice-President: No such job.
% ls Meese-Ethics Meese-Ethics not found
% "How would you rate Clinton's senility? Unmatched ".
% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa? Missing ]. |
% who is my match? No match.
% set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i Democratic_Platform unreadable
% awk "Polly, the ship is sinking" awk: syntax error near line 1 awk: bailing out near line
% 'thou shalt not commit adultery' thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.