An Annotated Thermometer
| 60°F | "Nice, warm weather." Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe) |
|---|---|
| 50°F | Miami residents turn on the heat |
| 40°F | You can see your breath Californians shiver uncontrollably You bike for fun Minnesotans go swimming |
| 35°F | "Nice, cool weather." Italian cars don't start |
| 32°F | Water freezes |
| 30°F | You plan your vacation to Australia Minnesotans put on T-shirts Politicians begin to worry about the homeless British cars don't start |
| 25°F | Boston water freezes Californians weep pitiably Minnesotans eat ice cream Canadians go swimming |
| 20°F | You can hear your breath Politicians begin to talk about the homeless New York City water freezes Miami residents plan vacation further South |
| 15°F | "Chilly." French cars don't start You plan a vacation in Mexico Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you |
| 10°F | Too cold to ski You only bike to class You need jumper cables to get the car going |
| 5°F | "Cold." You plan your vacation in Houston American cars don't start |
| 0°F | Alaskans put on T-shirts Too cold to skate |
| -10°F | German cars don't start Eyes freeze shut when you blink |
| -15°F | You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects Miami residents cease to exist |
| -20°F | "Bitterly cold." Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you Politicians actually do something about the homeless Minnesotans shovel snow off roof Japanese cars don't start |
| -25°F | Too cold to think You need jumper cables to get the driver going |
| -30°F | "Dang, it's cold!!" (a.k.a. "B-A cold!") You plan a two week hot bath The Mighty Monongahela freezes Swedish cars don't start |
| -40°F | Californians disappear Minnesotans button top button Canadians put on sweaters You need jumper cables to get the Jeep going Your car helps you plan your trip South |
| -50°F | "ooooowwwww....." Congressional hot air freeze Too cold to bike Alaskans close the bathroom window Jeeps don't start |
| -80°F | Hell freezes over Polar bears move south Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game |
| -90°F | Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets |