You Know You Have A Real Jeep If...

  1. If you use a hose to clean the inside and the outside
  2. When the best route from point A to point B is through the rockpile or over the mountain
  3. When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark
  4. You roll it over and don't get upset
  5. Your mom and sister can't get in without help
  6. You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb
  7. You puke when you see a RAV4
  8. You get custom pin-striping from trail brush
  9. When a low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you and you get out and *****-slap the driver
  10. If it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts
  11. When you pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days
  12. When you take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail -I don't see a trail!"
  13. When you've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ and XJ to your spell-checker
  14. When you can see OVER a Suburban
  15. You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up
  16. When your Nerf bars battle rocks and win
  17. When it rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off
  18. When you drive around to look at Christmas lights topless
  19. When you change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break
  20. If your "Parts Dept." is on blocks behind your house
  21. When you take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again
  22. You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield
  23. You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents
  24. Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints
  25. Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling
  26. You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other
  27. Winter comes and your can't remember where you left the roof
  28. You spend more on car washes than on insurance
  29. Even worse the car wash won't let you in
  30. You fix almost everything yourself
  31. When you feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser
  32. When you have all your credit card numbers memorized
  33. When you slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground
  34. If you get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it
  35. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it
  36. You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway
  37. You are dating the Service, Parts or Sales Manager at the Jeep dealership
  38. You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily
  39. You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway
  40. You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep
  41. Any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel
  42. You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying along a set of steps
  43. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.
  44. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage
  45. You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident
  46. You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep
  47. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.
  48. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm
  49. You're constantly getting passed on the highway.
  50. Your wallet is always empty.
  51. When your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that you wash your Jeep
  52. When you finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Jeep