Mathematical Anagrams

A DECIMAL POINT = I'm a dot in place. ONE PLUS TWELVE = Two plus eleven. APPLIED MATHEMATICS = Is mad, pathetic - ample? INTEGRAL CALCULUS = Calculating rules.

Ivan Ivanovich, great Russian scientist does an experiment. He wants to know how fast a thermometer falls down. He takes a thermometer and a light, a candle light. He drops both from the third floor and recognizes that they are reaching the ground at the same time. Ivan Ivanovich, great Russian scientist, writes in his book: A thermometer falls with the speed of light.

The Hubbell works fine; all that stuff IS blurry!

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

Jet Engine Theory: Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow!

Power corrupts, but we need electricity.

The Heineken Uncertainty Principle:
You can never be sure how many beers you had last night.

Q: What is more useful: the sun or the moon?

A: The moon, because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the sun shines during the day when you don't need it.

Q: What's the easiest way to observe Doppler's effect optically (not accoustically) in one's everyday life?

A: Go out in the evening and look at the cars. They lights are white or yellow when they approach, but they are red when they are moving away of you.

Q: What do you call it when atomic scientists grab their rods and gather around the old watering hole?

A: Nuclear fishin'

Schroedinger's Vet:
Specializing in gassed cats and monkeys with Carpal-tunnel syndrome.

Researchers in Fairbanks, Alaska announced last week that they have discovered a superconductor which will operate at room temperature.

Organic chemistry is the study of carbon compounds.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.

-- Mike Adams

Heisenberg was driving down the Autobahn whereupon he was pulled over by a policeman. The policeman asked, "Do you know how fast you were going back there? Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."