Kittens, better than babies? Hah! Here now are the top eleven
reasons why babies are better than kittens. (And, as any five-year-old will
tell you, more reasons makes my list better. Nyah! Nyah! Nyah!)
- Babies are rarely known to shed on furniture.
- No one's allergic to a baby.
- Having a kitten in the car doesn't let you drive in the carpool
lane.
- An exercise program you can really stick with... that you HAVE
to stick with, whether you like it or not...
- With a kitten, you don't get to watch otherwise normal adults
making silly faces, jumping up and down, talking nonsense in a high pitched
voice, and generally making fools of themselves. Hours of fun!
- For an initial investment of a camera and few pieces of film, you
can convince baby's grandparents to buy the kid all the cute but expensive
clothes, toys, furniture, and major appliances s/he will ever need -- a good
photographer can buy nothing but diapers for a year. Cats never buy their
grandkittens anything.
- Babies don't have fleas. Babies don't give YOU fleas.
- Free pregnancy/labor horror story with each baby. Commensurate
with other mothers! Scare newly-pregnant friends! Get your husband to do
twice the housework for months!
- Two words: Tax deduction
- Childbirth -- the greatest crash diet ever! Lose 20 pounds in
one day -- and keep it off, too!
And the number one reason babies are better than kittens:
- Kittens never grow up to look at you and say "I love you,
Daddy."
[original to me]
-Ian Barkley-Yeung Proud Parent of Stephen Skyler Barkley-Yeung --
cutest baby in history!