You know you're from Maryland when...

You can tell the difference between the smells of septic and marsh.

You not only know how to eat hard crabs, but you also know how to catch them and cook them and tell the males from the females.

You don't think that Assawoman Bay is a strange name for a body of water.

You know perfectly well why Rehoboth is called "Little San Francisco".

"M R Ducks" makes perfect sense.

So does "C M Wangs".

You think Salisbury is a big city.

You call the Pocomoke Super Wal-Mart "The Mall".

You think of dumplings as wet, slippery squares of boiled dough.

You and your boss take off of work when the fish are running or the ducks are flying in.

Snow confounds you.

You've eaten muskrat at a church dinner but think it's better the way you fix it.

You're somehow related to everyone else at that dinner.

You don't take pictures of the ponies on Assategue.

You haven't been to the beach during the summer in years.

Finishing a job on time really has no meaning to you.

You think of "Dairy Queen" as a pageant title and not a place to get an ice cream.

"Formal wear" is a ball cap, a flannel shirt, and Timberlands.

editor's note: I feel compelled to add a few. You pronounce Maryland "Mairlan" and Baltimore "Balltimur" but at least the state you live in actually has professional sports, integrated neighborhoods, and didn't take back the land they gave to form D.C. ... which can't be said for your Virginia neighbors.

email note: it's bawlmer merlin, hun