- Background:
- The Merlin Dialect is spoken by a mixed population which inhabits a
triangular area on the western littoral of the Chesapeake Bay, bounded roughly
by a line commencing at Towson's Toyota, then westward to Frederick Mall,
thence following the western border of the cable TV franchise and the string of
MacDonalds along Route 50 to the Bay. All of these lands and the natives
thereof are know as the Land of Merlin. They divide it further into semi-tribal
areas called Cannies (e.g., Ballmer Canny, PeeJee Canny, etc.).
- The dialect area is centered on a market center called Glimburny, where
people come on weekends to trade their goods. Because of the numerous words and
phrases common to both Merlin Dialect and modern English, linguists have long
postulated that there is some kinship between the two. The dispute in academic
circles at the present time is whether Merlin dialect actually derives from
English, or whether both are descended from some common ancestor, possible
spoken on the Island of Atlantis.
- Speakers of Merlin Dialect are all able to understand standard English from
babyhood, chiefly because of the their voracious appetite for television.
However, they invariably, and absolutely, refuse to speak standard English,
even with outsiders who obviously are not understanding a word they are
saying.
- Vocabulary:
- Allanic - an ocean
- Architexture - building styles
- Arlin - Ireland
- Arn - what you do on an arnin board
- Arnjuice - from the sunshine tree
- Arouwn in all directions - norf, souf, ees, and wess
- Arsh - people from Arlin
- Aspern - what you take for headaches
- Awl - goes into the crankcase in your caw
- Bald - some people like their eggs this way
- Baldamer - our city (also "Bawlamer", "Balmer")
- Balmorese - what we're speaking
- Bawler - what the plumber calls your furnace
- Beeno - a famous railroad
- Beero - bureau (as in FBI)
- Bleef - what you bleev in, your faith
- Brawl - broil
- Bulled Egg - an egg cooked in water
- Calf Lick - bleevers are Protestant, Jewish, and ...
- Canny - a state gubmit division, such as Anna Rundel or Prince
George's
- Cammer - used for taking photographs
- Chest Peak - a large nearby body of water
- Chimley - where Santa comes down
- Cole Race Beef - a favorite sandwhich; you could have Hot Race Beef with
Gravy
- Colleyflare - a white vegetable
- Dint - did not
- Dolltone - what you hear when you pick up the receiver
- Downey Ayshen - summertime destination (such as Ayshun City)
- Droodle Pork - Druid Hill Park
- Drooslem - city in the Holy Land
- Duddeney - Yes, he does, duddeney?
- Elfin - large pachyderm at zoo
- Err - a time measurement of 60 minutes
- Excape - escape
- Far place - requires wood
- Fard - area between the eyes and the hairline
- Faren Gins - red trucks that put out fires
- Farmin - the people who fight fars
- Flares - what grows in a garn
- Ford - opposite of backward
- Granite - something you don't want to be taken for
- Gubmit - government
- Gubner - governor
- Hairacane - upgraded from a tropical storm
- Har and Far - what the boss does
- Hi Hon - how we always say `hello'
- Holluntown - Highland Town (also "Hollandtayon")
- Idnit - It is, idnit?
- Ignernt - ignorant
- Klumya - Rouse's new city (Columbia)
- Lobble - responsible for
- Meer - what you look at in the morning
- Merlin - the Free State
- Mirra - another word for "meer"
- Munlaw - married to your fodlaw
- Nap Lis - State of Merlin capital
- Norf Abnew - North Avenue
- Numb - a conjunctive 1st person pronoun: "Aw've bin workin six errors numb
tarred."
- Ole Bay - what our crabs taste like
- Oreos - not a cookie, but our baseball team
- Paramore - power mower
- Payment - that strip of cement that you walk on
- Pixture - picture
- Pleece - those guys in uniform that git ya when you're speeding
- Plooshin - let's get it out of the Chest Peak
- PohLeese - another word for "pleece"
- Poison Ivory - plant that gives you itchy skin
- Race - a method of cooking meat: "Awl have a race beef samridge."
- Samridge - sandwich
- Sarn - what a pleece car or farn gin makes noise with
- Sem elem - Seven Eleven
- Share - hot water that cleans you in the morning
- Slong - "Good-bye."
- Snoo Few? - "What's new with you?"
- Sore - drainage under the street
- Spearmint - experiment
- Stahl - style
- Stalls - the hairdresser does this to your hair
- Star Phone - Styrofoam
- Sympathy - the Bawlamer Sympathy Orchestra
- Tarnado - cyclone
- Tarred - what happens when you work too hard
- Telly Phane - what we use to call people
- Torst - a visitor from another state or country
- Vollince - what we see too much of in the movies
- Wald - the opposite of tame
- Warsh - what we do with dirty clothes
- Warshnin - our nation's capital
- Warter - what we drink (also "wooter")
- Winders - those glass things that we look out of
- Wooder - what you wrench your hands with
- Yerp - Europe
- Youz - you all
- Zinc - where you wrench your hands or warsh your dishes
- Pronounciation Drill. Listen and Repeat:
Merlin: Ah herd sarns at sod the hass a bat hunnert toms lass
not. Itsem Ann Earl Canny farn gins.
Standard: I heard sirens outside the house about a hundred times
last night. It's those Anne Arundel County fire engines.
Merlin: She raider boskle from Droodle Pork to dantan Ballmer
wither oz clazed.
Standard: She rode her bicycle from Druid Hill Park to downtown
Baltimore with her eyes closed.
Merlin: The Hard Canny Toms sayz the canny cancel pace pained
bon ambalances.
Standard: The Howard County Times says the County Council postponed
buying ambulances.
Merlin: Pitcher bane seat owen. Weer goon danny ayshun.
Standard: Put your bathing suit on. We're going down to the
ocean.
Merlin: Ah sawn ambalance good dan Rosters Tan Raid a bat a
huunert mollsen air, nit was porn dan rain.
Standard: I saw an ambulance going down Reisterstown Road about a
hundred miles an hour, and it was pouring down rain.
Merlin: It spaced a snaid mora. Better pitcher snay tars
owen. Ah got me some fair stan snay tars at the Tee Goz bay the Glimburny
bopass.
Standard: It's supposed to snow tomorrow. Better put your snow
tires on. I got some Firestone snow tires at the Two Guys by the Glen Burnie
bypass.