original?: http://www.geocities.com/MotorCity/Speedway/3343/humor.html

You know you have enough horsepower when:

  1. Your horsepower exceeds your weekly salary.
  2. You have more than you can safely control, such as any teenager in a 5 liter Mustang.
  3. You get a personal thank you note from the Emir of Kuwait for your help in supporting the economy.
  4. When you have more horsepower than brain power
  5. When your local race shop says, "I don't know how we can spend any more of your money."
  6. Your car goes through rear tires like potato chips.
  7. You get a volume discount at both The Tire Rack, and your local traffic court.
  8. Your local power company contacts you regarding the use of your car for peak load power generation.
  9. Your wife simply says, "Warp 7, Mr. Sulu," when she wants you to take her for a spin.
  10. You start scouting the local Army-Navy store for a surplus g-suit.
  11. You start running red lights, as they appear green from doppler shift.
  12. You plot stealing that big tank of NOX every time you visit the dentist.
  13. Your local cops purchase a Vintage CanAm car, just to be able to catch you.
  14. Michael Schumacher pays to drive your car.
  15. You need FAA clearance to leave your driveway.
  16. You leave rubber on the pavement exiting one corner, all the way to the next.
  17. Enzo Ferrari (or Dr. Porsche) rolls over in his grave.
  18. You have to add a parachute to slow down.
  19. You see the space shuttle astronauts waving to you, in your rearview.
  20. Your G forces exceed your IQ (or weekly salary).
  21. A road that was once paved smooth is now full of pot holes from your starts.
  22. You rev your engine, and people in LA run for their lives.
  23. You're watching the tape of "In Car 956" on fast-forward mode just to keep from falling asleep.
  24. You're driving east and never see the sun set.
  25. You lay two black strips of rubber down the length of your driveway every morning on your way to work. hehe ;)
  26. You have to replace your brake pads at the end of each run group.
  27. You've installed dragster parts to keep your car from wheelying back too far.
  28. You don't lust for Jerry Seinfeld's mythical 959.
  29. You start building a car for your wife (or) you start working on your wife's car.
  30. You give Ford Motorsports your Visa number and they say, "Sorry, but..."
  31. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
  32. You can't drive your car in the rain.
  33. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
  34. You are afraid to drive your car.
  35. You spend more on tires than on food.
  36. You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
  37. You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
  38. You look through the ads in MM&FF and don't see anything you want.
  39. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper. (Sorry)
  40. You have to go to the track to buy gas.
  41. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
  42. You win a PCA race.
  43. You win a POC race.
  44. You win an F1 race.
  45. Norbert Singer (Porsche factory race engineer) calls to ask you a question.
  46. You can't improve your car without Patrick Head & John Barnard's help.
  47. Patrick Head and John Barnard are so excited by the challenge they agree to do it.
  48. They fail.
  49. Enzo is so excited by the challenge he comes back to help.
  50. You can't find any cars worthy to race against, so you have to start your own series.
  51. Tony George is so threatened by your series that when you don't let him manage it, he throws a temper tantrum and starts yet another series.
  52. Bernie Eclestone shows up at your house to see if your car meets regulations.
  53. The Bonneville salt flats are to short for you to find out your top speed.
  54. Boeing sends engineers to your house for some pointers.
  55. Insurance companies create a new category just for you.
  56. Your neighbors complain about the sonic boom every morning when you leave for work.
  57. Tire manufacturer's warrantees exclude your car by name.
  58. Enough horsepower, what's that?
  59. You go sideways so often you forget which end is supposed to be in front.
  60. You go through transmissions like potato chips.
  61. You stop working on your engine and buy a wind tunnel to improve your top end.
  62. You can start in 5th and not notice a difference (or - still smoke your tires).
  63. Frank Williams and Ron Dennis get into a bidding war over you.
  64. You are finally able to prove all those theories about the speed of sound.
  65. You take a drive, get out, look back, and watch yourself get there.
  66. Marlboro pays you 40 million to put their logo on your car.
  67. You drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
  68. You can make the Kessell run in less than 12 parsecs.
  69. Even Damon Hill can win the world championship in your car.
  70. You are crowned King, the undisputed ruler and all knights pledge their undying allegiance to you.