Q: How many Unix Support staff does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Read the man page!
Q: How many Support staff does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The bulb was fine; you just forgot to turn the switch on.
Q: Is there a UNIX FORTRAN optimizer?
A: Yeah, "rm *.f"
Q: Is there a proper procedure for asking the Support staff questions?
A: Questions will not be answered by the Support staff unless the proper procedure is used.
Q: How do I send electronic mail?
A: I'm busy now, please send me e-mail.
Q: Why do Support staff email messages always end in quotes no one understands?
A: "The way is void" -- Musashi
Q: Is there some documentation for the "tn3270" command?
A: It's here with a description of emacs vi-mode.
[The last one loosely based on a joke told at the first X
conference]