Ways the Bible Would Have Been Different
If It Had Been Written by College Students

1. Loaves and Fish replaced by pizza and chips.
2. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning -- cold.
3. Ten Commandments are actually five, but because they were double-spaced and written in large font, they look like ten.
4. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling.
5. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.
6. Paul's letters to the Romans became Paul's e-mail to the Romans .
7. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.
8. The place where the end of the world occurs: not the Plains of Armageddon, but rather finals week.
9. Book of Armaments would be in there somewhere, under the pile of month-old dirty laundry and empty beer cans.
10. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.
11. Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a freshman.
12. Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement.
13. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one would notice.