Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God.

Dogs have owners; cats have staff.

Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

-- Robert A. Heinlein

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

-- Garrison Keillor

I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food, which they take for granted - but his or her entertainment value.

-- Geoffrey Household

Ralph Wiggum ("The Simpsons") quotes:

My cat's name is "Mittens".

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

-- Ellen Perry Berkeley

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods.
They have never forgotten this.

I love cats... They taste just like chicken.

There are many intelligent species in the universe.
They are all owned by cats.

Never try to reason with your cat while fixing a bowl of cereal for breakfast. No matter what you say, you know she is thinking, "Is that milk? I like milk. Can I have some milk? I like milk."

-- Jeffrey Ehrhart

There is no "off" switch on a tiger.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I think the best part about being reincarnated as a dog would be not having to explain to the judge why you chose to relieve yourself on the police cruiser.

-- Dave Juurlink