How to tell the species of bear you are looking at:

Go over to him and kick him in the behind. Run up a nearby tree. If he climbs the tree and eats you, he's a black bear. If he knocks the tree down and eats you, he's a grizzly.

-- October 1990 Backpacker Magazine

In light of the rising frequency of human-grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field.

We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.

Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear & grizzly bear excrement. Black bear excrement is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear excrement has little bells in it and smells like pepper.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns Subject: bear bells From: c-jonw@microsoft.UUCP (Jon Waite, Seattle) Date: Sat, 24 Oct 1998 19:20:00 PDT URL: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/89q3/bearbell.539.html

A guy walks into this sporting goods store in Alaska, immediately spies a rather haggard-looking old salt of a store clerk sitting by the cash register.

"Hear ya got a lotta' bears 'round here?"

"Yep," answers the clerk.

"Big bears?"

"Yep."

"Mean bears?"

"Yep."

"Black bears?"

"Yep."

"GRIZZLIES???!"

"Yep."

"Got any bear bells?"

"What's dat?"

"You know, them little dingle-bells ya put on yer backpack so bears know yer in the perimiter so's they can runs away ..."

"Yep. Over yonder..."

"Great. I'll take one fer black bears, and one fer grizzlies. Say, how'd you know if yer in black bear country anyway?"

"Look fer scatt."

"Oh. Well, how how'd you know if there's GRIZZLIES????!"

"Look fer scatt."

"You just said that!"

"Yeah. But grizzly scatt's different."

"Well now, just what's IN grizzly scatt that's different?"

"Bear bells."