If operating systems were furniture...

Furniture 3.1/Furniture for Workgroups:

A picture of furniture, draped over a pile of bricks.

Furniture95:

Colourful and inviting, but after about ten minutes of use, the furniture will fall apart, giving a "General Furniture Fault" error.

FurnitureNT 4.0:

Looks just like Furniture95, but more durable. You will not be able to sit on it unless you upgrade to newer pants, however.

MacFurniture:

Furniture for people with no sense of direction. No matter where you sit, the furniture will be there. Leaving requires the permission of the MacFurniture, however.

Furniture/2:

Well crafted furniture. Unusual colours just won't match anything, though, so you'll need to redecorate. The legs are designed so that you can replace the legs on DOSiture or Furniture 3.1, making them stonger.

XFurniture:

It never falls apart, but you need to get a bigger house with stronger floors to hold it. You'll also find that your neighbours will keep rearranging your furniture without your permission.

Liniture:

It's cheap, and you have to assemble it yourself. Also, some of the older pieces tended to explode spontaneously, but the new stuff is pretty good. You can now use one of the "Lurniture distributions" that includes the tools you need to assemble it. The only problem is that because of the General Furniture License, you have to give a copy of your sofa to anybody who asks for it.

FreeFurniture:

It'll use the same upholstery as Lurniture, but it doesn't explode nearly as often as Lurniture does. Of course, if you don't like the upholstery on FreeFurniture then you can try out NetFurniture. It's not quite as comfortable as FreeFurnture if you use the 'daemon' upholstery, but you can re-upholster it in many different ways, and they all feel the same.

NextFurniture:

It's the most beautiful furniture you've ever seen, but it's more expensive than any furniture on the market. Good luck finding it outside university-affiliated furniture stores.

DOSiture:

You can only use piece of furniture at a time, so you can't invite friends over without being thrown out of the house yourself. Also, for the same reason, the tables come with their own built-in chairs and cupboards etc. (not to mention carpets and paintings.) Actually, this is not quite true: specialized furniture has been designed to pop up a table whenever you need one, but you're never quite sure the chair won't disappear under you when you use it.

Novell FurNETure3:

Lots of people can sit on it at once, but if you invite guests over there's nothing you can do to keep them from smashing your furniture. If you want to add some extra chairs you'll have to replace all your furniture, though you might be able to use the old furniture in another house.

Novell FurNETure4:

Reupholstered FurNETure3, but you can now add chairs without replacing all your furniture, and if you do a neat job of arranging all your rooms will look like one big hall.

DesqFurniture:

This special carpet/closet combination enables you to keep multiple sets of Dositure in one room.

OSFurniture/1 (Digital Furniture):

Outstanding furniture. Comfortable upholstery, with soft leather, yielding, yet still providing firm back support. Strongly constructed, yet elegant. Large enough for many people to sit on it at the same time in comfort. Unfortunately, purchasing this furniture requires a Furniture Maintenance Contract, which pledges the owner to eternal servitude.

CF/B:

Originally "couches for feet & backsides", later retconned to "complete furniture for buildings". You have to build the legs yourself for each building you put it in, but it's about the only choice for small rooms.

VMFurniture (IBM):

You can furnish your furniture.

MVSFurniture:

It's bigger than your house. If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

Advanced Interactive Executive Furniture (IBM):

Looks like UNIXiture, but the armchair's in the kitchen, the toilet's in the lounge, and the bath is in the garage. The toilet has no handle, so you have to use a special tool to flush it, and you can't move any of the furniture yourself, you have to get a guy called SMIT to move it for you.

AcornIture:

Conceptually similar to MacFurniture, but comes ready to use straight from the box, and is a lot more durable than almost any other brand, with the upholstery being tied to the furniture. It is possible though to use it with variants of FreeFurniture. Can support both multiple arms and aliens in the latest version, though you may need a larger seating area to be of any use. Lack of any serious designers for this brand though mean it is rarely seen outside of UK schools.