If operating systems were airlines...

DOS:

You go to the airport, and it's dusty, and hasn't been renovated in years, and the stewardesses are ugly; but the flight board has every destination imaginable--by propeller planes. Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then push again, jump on again and so on.

DOS with QEMM:

The same thing but with more leg room to push.

MS-Windows:

You go to the airport, and it's nice and colorful, the stewardesses are friendly and pretty. There is easy access to the plane, and the plane leaves right on schedule and has an uneventufl takeoff--and then blows up in midair with no warning and for no apparent reason. (Their air traffic contol system was borrowed from DOS.)

OS/2:

To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill out a form showing where you want to sit and whether it should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train, or a bus. If you succeed in getting on board the plane and the plane succeeds in getting off the ground, you have a wonderful trip... except for the times when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you have time to say your prayers and get yourself prepared before the crash.

Macintosh:

You go to the airport, it's modern, the stewardesses are pretty, but they all look exactly alike, the planes are all the same type; and every time you ask for flight information, they say, "You really don't want to know about that."

UNIX:

You go to the airport terminal, and there are 500 things going on all at once, and none of the stewardesses are very helpful. Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and picks up airplane parts, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building and how to put it together.

X-Windows:

You go the southern entrance of the UNIX airport and they have have modern facade with window panes.

NeXT:

You go to the airport and everything is made out of ebony; it looks ultra-modern and the stewardesses are knockouts, but they don't have any planes, just a little shuttle to the UNIX airport.

Windows NT:

Everyone marches out on the runway, says the password in unison, sits in a wire-frame model of airplane, and makes buzzing noises.