Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: mascardo@admin.assurenet.com (Erwin Mascardo) Subject: Where do you want to be (mis)directed today? Date: Wed, 29 Sep 1999 19:30:00 PDT URL: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/99/Sep/expedia.html

My wife recently went on a business trip, and in filling out her expense report, she noted that she could claim the mileage to and from the airport. My first attempt at using MapQuest to calculate the distance failed, so I tried Microsoft Expedia Maps. After the shock wore off, my only regret was that my wife couldn't really claim this mileage figure, as we had no way to prove that we'd spent 9 days driving to Newfoundland and back. Highlights from the Microsoft-generated directions follow:

Summary

From: Laurel, Maryland
To: Baltimore-Washington International Airport, Maryland
Driving Distance: 5865.1 miles
Time: 9 day(s) 3 hour(s) 22 minute(s)

Driving Directions

TimeInstruction
0:00Depart Laurel, Maryland
1:01Entering Delaware
1:17Entering New Jersey
3:24Entering New York
3:51Entering Connecticut
5:51Entering Massachusetts
7:29Entering New Hampshire
7:44Entering Maine
12:20Entering New Brunswick
20:20Take the North Sydney-Argentia Ferry
34:32Entering Newfoundland
36:35Turn left onto Local road(s) (4543.1 mi)
219:22Arrive Baltimore-Washington International Airport, Maryland

I guess when Microsoft asks "Where do you want to go today?" that how you get there isn't always important...

(A subsequent attempt at MapQuest gave the correct figure of 16.5 miles.)